This month it’s all about finding clarity within the chaotic mess of mind chatter and emotional baggage. Sounds easy enough, right?
Actually it is…it just requires a little bit of focus with a smidgen of patience and self compassion.
Merrian-Webster defines “clarity” as being easily heard and understood…that works both ways: to easily hear and understand others AND to have others easily hear and understand us.
When we go to a restaurant, do we ask for exactly what we want or do we tell the server to bring whatever the special of the day is? Or worse, do we even bother to tell the server what we want, hoping that the server will be able to figure it out and then go get it for us? That’s crazy right?
So it goes when communicating with others. Where do we fall within the restaurant example? Are we clear or do we keep our fingers crossed?
Easily Hear and Understand Others
when others are communicating to us (voice/digitally/etc):
- do we really listen to them or start thinking about what we’re going to say next?
- do we really listen to them or are we already reacting to what they’re saying without letting them finish?
- are we thinking about other things, letting our minds wander
- do we listen to exactly what is being said or do we filter it through our own opinions, hurts, fears, or prejudices we may have towards this person or the topic?
- if we fail to clearly understand what’s being said, do we allow ourselves to ask “what do you mean by that?” or “I’m having trouble understanding what you’re saying…can you explain it differently?”
Others Easily Hear and Understand Us
- do we state clearly what we mean or do we hope others will get what we’re implying?
- do we speak our truth or do we hold back due to fears of rejection or shame?
- do we know how to ask for what we really want?
- do we really KNOW what we want?
- are we being clear about our message?
- are we making sure we’re understood or are we assuming they know it?
Cutting to the Chase
When it comes to mind chatter:
- practice being AWARE that the mind chatter is even happening (half the battle)
- when we are aware…BREATHE
- count to ten…repeat…as often as it takes to quiet down the mind
- focus on the solar plexus (belly) area…the mind has trouble talking down there
- as a last resort…keep repeating in our head “STOP!” “STOP!” “STOP!” (that works well at 3 in the morning when sleeps seems to be impossible)
When in comes to emotional baggage:
- stick to the facts (ie: someone tells us they are mad at us…them telling us how they feel is just a fact)
- hold off all reactions until we know all the facts
- now determine how we really feel (ie: do I want to be upset about this, happy about this, sad about this…or do I want to know what’s really going on)
- keep checking in with how we really feel and whether we want to continue feeling this way…if not, change it!
- any emotional baggage that keeps us from peace and joy? work through it (coloring works well), thank it and then let it go.
Whether we’re communicating with friends or with the universe are we clearly listening? Are we being clear with them?
Asking for a million bucks and asking for a million dollars in our bank account are two completely different things.
Ponder this as we color the February 2014 Mandala of the Month.
The Mandala lady
Be sure to download Section 2 of the 2014 Mandala of the Year.