The idea of “trust” seems to be popping up everywhere for me and others around me. It can be a big issue outside of ourselves…can we trust the media, our government, our boss, our neighbors, our family? While all important, the trust I speak of with this month’s mandala refers to self trust.
Can you trust yourself to do what you say you’re going to do? Can you trust yourself to make the “right” decision? Can you trust yourself to truly know what course of action would be best to take?
Sometimes I catch myself avoiding making any decision because I’m afraid I’ll pick the wrong one. The “what ifs” take over. What if I decide this way and then realize I should have gone that way? What if I don’t like the decision I’ve made? What if? What if? What if? In the meantime, I feel stuck right where I am.
In another post, I mentioned how this feels like being in a room with all these doors. Each door leading to a path based on a decision that I make. For the longest time, when I would think of this room of doors, I would see myself just sitting on the floor, with my head held down totally overwhelmed by my choices, feeling totally clueless as to which one to choose.
One day it occurred to me to just pick one…any one! If I truly regret the decision, go back and choose again. I just needed to trust that whatever happens, I could/can handle it by either continuing on the path or bowing out and choosing another path…just keep moving forward. If I do choose to bow out I need to remind myself to treat it as a learning experience rather than being “wrong”.
Another factor in the trusting yourself issue are the voices in my head. Which one do I listen to? One voice says to do this, another says to do that. How do I know when my true voice is speaking to me? In this case, I learned to use my body as a way to tell of which voice to listen.
Recently I needed to decide about going to an event in Salem. If I just listen to this one voice, I would have decided to just stay home. However, when I took the time to ponder the event, I paid attention to my body…it became all goose-bumpy and abuzz every time I thought about the Salem event. I learned that when my body does that, I know I’m sensing the truth…a “yes”. If my body feels blank or yucky, then I take that as a “no”. So I decided to trust what my body told me and went to the event. It turned out to be an extraordinary day and I’m truly grateful that I went.
I would recommend using this technique on small things to start out; for example, while walking downtown or in your neighborhood, check in with your body at each intersection to determine which way to go next. You may end up just having a lovely walk or you may happen upon some one or some thing that you would have missed had you just walked in any old direction.
My husband and I love to use the “walking man” as our guide while in Portland. At every intersection, wherever the walking man is flashing, we would go in that direction. One time while searching for a particularly hard-to-find restaurant, we decided to let the walking man direct us. We found the restaurant within 3 walking mans!
If you’re open to the idea, you can take this a step further. It is said we have any number of spiritual guides and angels around us to help us. Asking them for guidance can be a great way to step out of ourselves, to being open to other possibilities. For the longest time I struggled to determine if the guidance I heard was real. I started using my body in collaboration with the guidance I received. If it buzzed then I trusted to follow the guidance. Here too you can start out with some easy stuff to learn to trust yourself more and more. I like to use it to find parking spaces. For this one thrift store I love to frequent, I’ll usually throw out to my guides/angels…If it’s in my best interest to go to this store, then let there be a parking spot right in front of the store. One time I did this and 3 spots were open! I took that as a yes.
To summarize: this is about learning to trust yourself. Yes we’ve all made decisions that we have regretted, which makes it more difficult for us to trust our decision making abilities. If we truly look at those decisions, though, we realize that we learned something from everyone of them. And while they may have turned out differently than planned, in some way or another we have gained from them. When I think of my first marriage ending in divorce, I learned what I didn’t want in a husband. And now I have a great husband
Trust yourself to know that you can handle whatever comes your way. Trust you body to help you on a more intuitive level. And if you’re open to it, trust your guides and angels to help you on a spiritual level.
Ponder this as you color this mandala throughout the month of April.
Be sure to check out Section 4 of the Mandala of the Year.
joyfully, Maureen, The Mandala Lady