I knew several days in advance that the subject of November’s MotM would be about “allowing” because for weeks that word, and variations of it, has come up repeatedly in articles/books I’ve been reading or from listening to podcasts.
What does it mean to “allow”? On dictionary.com the first definition of allow is “to give permission to or for; permit”. It is on this definition that we will focus.
I heard Noah St. John on a recent HealingWiththeMasters.com webcast* say something very profound (IMHO)…”give yourself permission to succeed.” Wow…for the last four or five years I’ve heard all this talk about “The Secret”, the Law of Intention, and the Law of Attraction (just to name a few); how all you have to do is intend something or create a vision board and it will happen. I, like I imagine many of you, struggle with this concept. I intend and I intend and what happens? zilch, nada, zero, zip. Then I get down on myself because, yet again, there must be something wrong with me if I’m failing to make this, and other concepts like it, work. Yet another opportunity for me to be down on myself.
With hearing Noah’s phrase “permission to succeed” I realized a missing piece of the puzzle for me. I can make all the intentions I want, from trivial things such as finding a great parking space downtown to the amazingly wild ideas like creating a ‘creativity center’ or having a very successful coloring book career; however if I fail to allow it to happen with negative self-talk and self- sabotaging actions, my intentions are doomed before I even begin.
Two weeks ago, I thought about talking with someone about an idea I had and IMMEDIATELY, without skipping a heartbeat, I heard this other voice in my head say “no one wants to hear what you have to say.” It struck me as very profound on two counts 1) that I was aware enough to actually hear it, and 2) that some part of my believes that what I have to say lacks any value to anyone. As Dr. Phil would call it…it was a defining moment for me.
In order for me to allow, I need to pay closer attention to those subtle negative thoughts, to face them knowing that if I put them there in the first place, I can also change them or, better yet, delete them. What kind of negative thoughts have you’ve heard in your head? I’m too old…it’s been done before…who cares…what if I screw it up…what if everyone hates it…I’m not good enough, and the worst one of all…I can’t.
On October 21, the daily quote from Abraham-Hicks Publications offered another interesting viewpoint on “allowing”:
“Negative emotion is your indicator of resistance, while positive emotion is your indicator of allowance. And they are on the same meter: allowance; resistance. Allowance; resistance.”
A great example of this for me is when I’m running late for a meeting or an appointment. When I start rushing around and panicking, chaotic things start happening like I forget things, knock things over, bang into things, forget where my keys are, etc. Once I’m in the car I tend to be stuck behind someone just crawling along, I hit every red light, I become even more impatient and more stressed out, which winds up making me even more late and more of an emotional wreck by the time I arrive. However, if I take a moment to just allow for the fact that “I am late” and accept it, my approach to my appointment takes on a very calm and relaxed mood. My calm state, appears to defy time, most of the lights are green, and I arrive sooner than expected and often times the person I’m meeting is either running late as well or they were busy and would have kept me waiting had I been on time.
This “running late” experience shows me that when I resist my current situation (being late), I’m agitated and all kinds of chaotic things start happening. When I allow myself to just go with it and accept the situation as it is, to allow it to just unfold before me, everything goes smoother and calmer. Of course what I really need to do is take a look at why I’m late in the first place…maybe that will be next month’s focus.
ETA: Another example of allowing vs resistance:
Am I allowing myself to be in the moment as I’m walking my dogs, enjoying the fresh air, and exercising? or am I resisting by walking my dogs while my mind focuses on what I need to do at home or relive a hurtful conversation from two weeks ago.
Am I allowing myself to be 100% focused on my driving or do I resist it by focusing on other things while I drive, arriving at my destination wondering how I got there?
Can you think of any other examples?
I presented two versions of “allow” here: 1) give yourself permission to succeed, to allow yourself to strive for your goals/intentions without the negative, subconscious talk; and 2) just be where you are, allow yourself to be in the moment, start from there and then move forward without judgment, self-persecution or self-sabotage. Ponder either one or both as you color this month.
Allow yourself time to color, give yourself permission to spend some time taking care of yourself, to have some fun.
Maureen, The Mandala Lady
I would love to see your colorings…Upload them to Flickr at http://www.flickr.com/groups/mandalas/
*there’s still time to catch some of the remaining fabulous speakers for this season…and it’s free to sign up
ETA – edited to add